Rudy Ray Moore, comedian, singer, actor and film producer died of complications from diabetes in Toledo, Ohio on October 19, 2008.   In 1975 he took on the character Dolemite, the ‘uniquely articulate pimp’ in a film by the same name and followed up with a sequel film The Human Tornado.   A popular tag line was ‘rappin and tappin is my game’.

Moore, known as the ‘king of the party records’, released several in the 1960’s and 1970’s.  His style was explicit and he was considered a notch beyond contemporaries Richard Prior and Redd Fox in his outrageous dialogue.

Moore got his start as an R & B singer.  In 2008 he reprised the character Petey Wheatstraw for the song I Live For the Funk, featuring Blowfly and Daniel Jordan.  In the movie, Rudy Ray played the title character, who made a deal with the Devil to marry the ugliest girl on earth - the Devil’s daughter.

This is a sad knock to the funk.  2008 has officially been the shittiest year for death, ever.

Final Fantasy X.  2001 Square

This one marks the first time legendary composer Nobuo Uematsu used outside help from other composers, so Final Fantasy purists will want to rape me.  I’ll pucker my butt, cause in my humble opinion, X is the best in the series.  And I think most everybody with any common sense does too.  I don’t own the 4 different available American soundtracks (because the fucking game has the same music on it already) but I can still kinda get a sense that as the immense availability of youtube clips, soundtrack tracks, and fan-made covers attest, X is very popular on both sides of the world.  This music is one of those things that impact every facet of your life for a while.  This is also probably done through more than a little osmosis as you end up playing the fucking thing for 200 hours trying to unlock everything.   This is one of those movies or video games where the music is so good you hum it while you work, dream about game scenes, and just pop on an mp3 once in a while to remember the awesomeness of that particular level’s score.

Smif-n-Wessun

Dah Shinin’

1995

Amidst all the East-vs. West Coast drama that was unfurling during the mid-ninties, there were some great records being put out, including a now forgotten classic by some brooklynites who used to hang with Tupac occasionally.  Tek and Steele were part of the larger Boot Camp Clik, which featured quite a few talented underground rappers such as Heltah Skeltah and parts of Black Moon.   Tight rhymes abound, with great Yardie references thrown in about shooting people and smoking weed.  Yes, an album after mine own heart.  DJ Evil Dee and the rest of the Beatminerz make funky yet simplistic beats that elevate this record far above any other releases of its type.  Think Cypress Hill done right.  No fat wheezy voices or corny weed gimmicks here.  These stoned motherfuckers are scary serious about fucking you up if you cross them.  Preferably by stomping you with their Timberland boots.  The boys know how to weave in and out with each other in true partner fashion.  These cats were like Brooklyn’s version of Mobb Deep.

Oh man, fuck all that past tense shit from the earlier paragraph. Smif n Wessun and the rest of the Click are still around.  They formed their own record label, Duck Down records.  Go to their website and support them.  They deserve it.  I mean you can sit there and listen to Soulja Boy all day long.  Or grow the fuck up and listen to real hip-hop.  The choice is yours.

Wizards and Warriors (NES) 1989

Anybody remember this semi-obscure classic?  It was an annoying platform game disguised as an action rpg, but we sure had fun with it didn’t we?  And remember what an awesome soundtrack the game had?  It was one of the first games to play an “OHMYGAWDYOURGONNAFUCKINGDIEIFUDONTGETHEALTH” theme.  There was so many awesome pieces of music for this game.  As frustrating as the game itself was, I kept plugging along, if only to keep hearing new nuggets from the awesome soundtrack.  I liked it THAT much.  And yes, Thrillho, this is one on the list that is univserally accepted as a classic.  So now you can get off my back!

I am shocked and stunned! This-this cannot be true! I never would have suspected it. In other news, Diddy is black.

NEW YORK (AP) — Clay Aiken is finally confirming what many people already knew: He’s gay.

The cover of the latest People magazine shows Aiken holding his infant son, Parker Foster Aiken, with the headline: “Yes, I’m Gay.” The cover also has the quote: “I cannot raise a child to lie or hide things.”

The magazine has an interview with Aiken and confirmed that he was on the cover but refused to release the article to The Associated Press until Wednesday.

The baby’s mother is Aiken’s friend and record producer Jaymes Foster.

Aiken, who gained fame as the runner-up on “American Idol” in 2003, rarely addressed the frequent rumors about his sexuality. In an interview with The Associated Press two years ago, he said: “I don’t really feel like I have anybody to answer to but myself and God and the people I love.”

The multiplatinum singer recently released the CD “On My Way Here” and made his Broadway debut this spring in “Monty Python’s Spamalot.”

I’m not gonna spout all of the fucking cliched crap like “See you at the Great Gig In the Sky, Rick!”  I am gonna say is he was an underrated genius.  So many people spend their time sucking Roger Waters’ or David Gilmour’s dicks that nobody realized how important this guy was.  I’m too upset to write more, I’ll fill in the blanks later.

Frenzy! (1982) Colecovision

I bet the majority of you younger readers are scratching your heads right now.  “What the hell is Frenzy?”, you ask.  Let me start from the beginning.  Back in 1980 there was a popular arcade game called Berzerk.  It was very popular and even killed two kids from stress-induced heart attacks!  Also, it was the first game to actually talk toyou.  Nowadays we take full-motion video and real-time-animation for granted, but us old fuckers like 4-year-old Smokey shit their pants when an arcade machine told us “GET THE HUMAN!”  In Berzerk you are a stick figure with a slow firing laser gun surround by robots.  The robots are trying to kill you.  The stick figure runs from room to room killing and avoiding robots until he loses all his lives or gets to like the 2345th board or whatever so the game glitches.  The game had some sick touches.  When I say sick I mean both meanings of the word.  Sick as in awesome, and sick as in, well, sick and twisted.

The first weird touch was the walls in the game were electrified.  So if your stick figure walked into them he’d die a horrible death.  SO would the robots, as many a skilled player used this to their advantage.

The second touch was the most (in)famous touch.  Evil Otto.  Yep, gamers still quake at that name.  Often topping greatest video game villain lists, Otto was a smiley-faced bouncing ball that came out of nowhere to FUCKING KILL YOU when you took to long fucking about the maze.

Frenzy! is the sequel to Berzerk.  It too featured a stick figure running around endless mazes shooting robots.  This time the walls were not electrified.  Instead the walls were made out of round circles the player could shoot through.  And a few reflective surfaces here and there.  So Berzerk masters that racked up their high scores by leading ther mindless robots into the walls were shit out of luck.  Also there would be “boss rooms” that had different things going on.  Plus you could kill Evil Otto!  Sure, he came right back faster then ever, but heck, it felt good to gun his smiling little ass down.  The Colecovision port of this game is a fantastic game with a minimalist soundtrack.  I rank this game so high on the list because it is one of the first games where the soundtrack truly impressed me. From the opening theme to the faux-happy “game over” music Frenzy! is truly a great game with great music.

Wow, Pink sure is cool, isn’t she?  She’s not like all the other trashy female singers, who sing moody songs about lost love and cheating men.  Nope, our Pink sings about how she is one TOUGH BITCH.  And that she is nobody’s plaything.  Wow, Pink, you told us men.  Hard.  I bow to your alt-pop coolness.  When you diss me and tell me I’m going home with my hand instead of your scrunched-up anger face I get heartbroken.

One tough chick:

Pink ain’t afraid to threaten muthafuckas who piss her off! Like the paparazzi, fellow singers, etc. She is one tough cookie, let me tell you.

Let me stop and ask you this, Pinky:

If you’re so fucking tough and cool and hate pop stars and everything that surrounds it why don’t you shut the fuck up and get the fuck out?  You can act like you’re not any more of a fame whore then Britney or Jessica or whoever but let’s face it puddin’.  You most certainly are.  You are just as fucking pathetic as any of those bitches no matter how cool or tough you act.  You make POPULAR music.  You are not a punk rocker.  Even if you sport a faux-hawk.

Yes, Pink you are fuckable. There is something cute about your mannish face and toned body flexing all over little puppy dogs and leather costumes. You are what they call a “hot ugly chick”. Does that give you free reign to act like a super-cool bitch?

My theory is that Pink maybe didn’t want to be pigeon-holed as a stereotypical R&B singer after her first tune made her sound like a sistah. So like Kid Fucking Rock, Pink went a different route. Instead of becoming a douchebag goofball hillbilly like Ritchie Pink tries being the angry, pseudo punk chick with all dem kewl tattoos. And OMFG she SMOKES!

Britney and Jessica don’t do that! oh wait they do! In fact that’s what makes Pink so stupid to me. Britney is really fucking scary and dangerous. She would kill a motherfucker for looking at little Jaden wrong, I suspect. That is if she can get his little ass home that week due to that ugly custody thing. Pink’s calculated GRRR image pales in the face of true, unmitigated psychosis:

Plus I hate when I’m looking something up on Pink Floyd and her shit pops up. Ugh. Couldn’t you have called yourself Purple? Of course then I’d be pissed when I go to look for Prince stuff…

Super Mario Brothers 3

 This one was hard for me because all of the Mario games have great music in them, going all the weay back to Donkey Kong (dum dum de dum dum anyone)?  And the first Super Mario Brothers game was a great work.  An all-time classic with easily identifiable music.  The second Super Mario was not originally a Mario game, but still had a fantastic soundtrack.  THe reason I chose the third is not only is a great soundtrack with several different motifs, it also takes the orignal’s themes and jazzes them up.  Which I’m a sucker for.

In the early 90’s in southern California, something which was once subtle, but is now too blatantly obvious happened….  George Lucas lost his talent.  Now, I guess its debatable if he ever really had any talent (especially directing).  His talent probably lies (lied?) in his imagination.  I mean he was the mind behind Star Wars and Indiana Jones after all.  From a directing point of view, it seems like his films have been on a constant downslope of quality.  American Graffiti was probably his best directed film.  The story, imagination, and special effects of the original Star Wars distracted the audience from the rest of the film.  It was a step down in terms of directing quality.  He didn’t direct again until the Star Wars prequels, and we all know how those turned out.  When Spielberg joined up with him for the Indiana Jones trilogy (yes I’m still calling it a trilogy) it was spectacular.  Raiders and Last Crusade are two of my favorite all time movies.  However, it seems that the once plentiful idea factory inside Lucas’s head dried up after Last Crusade.  Perhaps he was too distracted by doing Scrooge McDuck swan dives into his mountains of cash.  He seemingly went over to the ‘dark side’ and devoted the rest of his career milking his once great franchises.  Everything he has touched in the last 15-20 years has been shit.  He attaches himself as producer to everything Star Wars related, and then he puts aliens in the new Indiana Jones…  Now we have a cartoon Star Wars hitting theaters today.  A cartoon Star Wars!!!  Granted, the 5 minute shorts on Cartoon Network were cool, but do we need a full feature film?  It’s like the prequels version of the Ewok movies.  Whats next, another Christmas special?  Lucas, you brought us all great memories, and you greatly helped shape parts of our childhood, but please stop ruining these two once great franchises.  It’s like watching someone take part of our childhood and kick it in the nuts repeatedly while we have no choice but to watch helplessly.