Super Mario Brothers 3

 This one was hard for me because all of the Mario games have great music in them, going all the weay back to Donkey Kong (dum dum de dum dum anyone)?  And the first Super Mario Brothers game was a great work.  An all-time classic with easily identifiable music.  The second Super Mario was not originally a Mario game, but still had a fantastic soundtrack.  THe reason I chose the third is not only is a great soundtrack with several different motifs, it also takes the orignal’s themes and jazzes them up.  Which I’m a sucker for.

In the early 90’s in southern California, something which was once subtle, but is now too blatantly obvious happened….  George Lucas lost his talent.  Now, I guess its debatable if he ever really had any talent (especially directing).  His talent probably lies (lied?) in his imagination.  I mean he was the mind behind Star Wars and Indiana Jones after all.  From a directing point of view, it seems like his films have been on a constant downslope of quality.  American Graffiti was probably his best directed film.  The story, imagination, and special effects of the original Star Wars distracted the audience from the rest of the film.  It was a step down in terms of directing quality.  He didn’t direct again until the Star Wars prequels, and we all know how those turned out.  When Spielberg joined up with him for the Indiana Jones trilogy (yes I’m still calling it a trilogy) it was spectacular.  Raiders and Last Crusade are two of my favorite all time movies.  However, it seems that the once plentiful idea factory inside Lucas’s head dried up after Last Crusade.  Perhaps he was too distracted by doing Scrooge McDuck swan dives into his mountains of cash.  He seemingly went over to the ‘dark side’ and devoted the rest of his career milking his once great franchises.  Everything he has touched in the last 15-20 years has been shit.  He attaches himself as producer to everything Star Wars related, and then he puts aliens in the new Indiana Jones…  Now we have a cartoon Star Wars hitting theaters today.  A cartoon Star Wars!!!  Granted, the 5 minute shorts on Cartoon Network were cool, but do we need a full feature film?  It’s like the prequels version of the Ewok movies.  Whats next, another Christmas special?  Lucas, you brought us all great memories, and you greatly helped shape parts of our childhood, but please stop ruining these two once great franchises.  It’s like watching someone take part of our childhood and kick it in the nuts repeatedly while we have no choice but to watch helplessly.

o. What a shitty couple of days. I’m not terribly suprised by this, as Hayes hasn’t been 100 percent recently, but still and all….

Sad news for the world today as my man Bernie Mac passed away this week age 50. Not a late age to go out. This man was legendary, and if you only know him from his show or Transformers or whatever check out his stand-up shit.

If you can, please donate some money to the Foundation of Sarcoidosis Research in Bernie Mac’s name:

http://www.stopsarcoidosis.org/

I’ve tried to sit still and hold it in. I really have. But after hearing this Fuckbubble’s new fucking “song” on crappy top 40 radio, I cannot stand it any more. Fuck Kid Rock. Bob Ritchie tried to make his name as an MC, then turned into Jerry Fucking Reed. Which is it, asshole?  But that’s not what bothers me.  If this Detroit hillbilly wants to be a rapping country singer then so be it.  His lack of fucking original beats, however, kill me to the point I’m fucking worm food times a million. If I had a choice between turning on my stove and shoving my dick in it just so I burn it off, or listen to a whole Kid Rock album I would tell your Mom to fire up the oven and start stroking.

Yes, fuck Kid Rock. I know his ass is gonna die from Hep C, but I’d like to drown him in orange Hi-C, the fat fucking rat. Ritchie, I would really like to punch you. No, I’m not Tommy Lee. I would smack the shit out of you. I’m not hating on you so much as expressing how I’d really like to wipe the smile off of your beak-nosed face.

This prick needs to stop sampling southern rock and Douching it up. Him and butt buddy Uncle Kracker need to write their own shit. Yeah that’ll be the day. I don’t mind sampling if it’s done right. Sampling is as old as Hip-Hop itself. Even Puffy (sorry, Diddy) made some good beats out of outright non-disguised samples. Kid Rock just abuses these things without any creativity whatsoever. Because it’s nothin’ but a party, right, Bob? Fuck you. You know if Warren Zevon was still alive he’d sue the shit out of you. The moral of our story is Kid Rock sucks ass through a purple crazy straw.
Look forward to this:

Run-DMC

Rasing Hell (1986)

Three Gs from Hollis brought their third album to the forefront of popular culture with the help of Steven “Pain Pills For My Feet” Tyler and Joe “Freakin’” Perry. Combining an already popular underground breakbeat with two of the original artists behind it, Run-DMC cleverly brought mainstream publicity to the hip-hop movement. Everybody loves that song. Fuck that shit. “Walk This Way” is the worst track on the album. Tracks like “My Adidas” and “Peter Piper” made this album the true masterpiece it is. Young Smokey remembers saving up his allowance and going to the local record shop to buy the cassette (Yeah I’m that old.)

OK.

I dare venture that I was one of the strongest naysayers out there regarding The Dark Knight’s casting of Heath Ledger. While I had no qualms about the actor himself, I expressed dismay about his face and makeup. I hated the concept of the Joker painting himself, and looking more like a psycho scumbag then the grand master of all that is bad. well, last Friday I went to an IMAX screening of the film. And I have to say that….

I LOVED IT!

Yes, I did love this film. If this film had a dick I would suck it. If this film had a vagina I’d fuck it. I am a humble mother right now. I have never been so happy eating crow. Tell me “I told you so” all you want.
Did I still hate the makeup? Oh very much so. Did I hate the scars? Well, I did until the Joker started telling crazy stories about them. But anyone who says Nicholson’s performance is better is seriously unfamiliar with the dynamic between the two characters of Batman and the Joker. Sure Ledger was less grandiose then Jack’s over-the-top portrayal, but he did such a fine job of capturing the mannerisms and overall CRAZINESS of the character that I felt compelled to smile to myself every time. They got it RIGHT, at least as far as characterization is concerned! There is a scene about halfway through the movie when the Joker subdues Batman. One of his thugs goes to touch Batman and the costume zaps the thug. The Joker then runs up to the thug gleefully stomping and spitting at him like a jealous 4-year-old. It is truly amazing, and for that one moment I did in fact wonder if that dumb Australian fuck DID go crazy from the role. He was that good.

“Well, hello, beautiful!”

Another thing I liked was Gary Oldman’s Commissioner Gordon getting a substantial part. It is testament to this film’s power that I cared and worried about him during the film’s unfolding. Compare Oldman to Pat Hingle’s scant cameos in the previous Burton/Schumacher films and you finally do him justice. Gordon deserves that, as the fine Commissioner is a great character on his own. About fucking time.

Ah, Harvey…Aaron Eckhardt did a great job but one of my few gripes would be how limited Harvey Dent is as both a transitional “bad guy” as well as full-blown maniac. Not as much time is given to his character development as far as his “dark side” being shown. So when Dent finally becomes Two-Face I felt kinda like “Wha?”

Kicking Batman in the Jimmy while that fat fuck Pat Leahy watches!
I will say that Two-Face and the Joker share a scene together that is just un-fucking-believable. Good times.
A lot of folks are saying that the dialog is wordy and pretentious. I do not agree. I think the script is fantastic, and approaches things other “comic book” movies have yet to attempt. Batman himself is presented in various shades of gray, and seems to almost cross the line into madness himself. One scene in particular will have you feel bad for Julia Robert’s brother. Few BAtman movies have asked whether outright vigilatism is good. The Dark Knight does this.
All in all, despite my hatred for Ledger’s appearance, his performance (as well as the other charcters) take this film to new heights of greatness. I do in fact plan on seeing it again, to catch everything I missed. It has honestly been a while since I saw a film in the theater I wanted to see again right away. This is one. In the end, that’s probably the best review I can give…

Digital Underground Sex Packets (1989)

Sure, everybody knows The Humpty Dance and all that shit. But a single listen to this debut lp from arguably the Bay Area’s most successful hip-hop group draws the listener into a ton of original concepts. Though everybody in West-Coast Hip-Hop sampled P-Funk, Shock G and his band of maniacs-including at one time a young Tupac-brought it over. A young import from the east coast, Shock brought his George Clinton influences to Oakland, CA creating an influential sonic masterpiece. If it’s not my favorite rap album, it’s damn close.

Civilization II, 1995

Who says midi music has to suck? Every bit of music in this game was great. From visiting dignitaries sounding like a tribal massacre to the mystical foreign percussion of finding the Great Wall, Civilization II possesses a beautiful score with several leitmotifs that carried on to part III.

Well, I went and saw the Incredible Norton-er, Hulk last weekend. Here are some thoughts:

The action was much more clear this time. You could see what the fuck was going on. In Ang Lee’s 2003 Hulk movie I couldn’t tell what was going on. Everyone bitches about Hulk fighting mutant dogs. I bitch about not being able to clearly see Hulk fighting them! I have heard people bitch about there being to much CGI in the Incredible Hulk finale. Trust me, it was damn good CGI! I remember sitting in the theater watching Lee’s movie and feeling my fat ass start to hurt from the damn thing dragging on and on. A marked improvement, the 2008 movie was one of those flicks that seemed to be over a lot faster then 2 hours!

I wasn’t sure I’d like the new design for the Hulk but after watching the movie I’m ashamed of myself for not trusting it. I loved it. He was the scariest muthafuckin’ Hulk I’ve seen in pretty much any medium. He may even have killed folks!

Tim Roth is always good, and here he captures both a faint geekiness as well as the requisite toughness needed to be portraying a special forces agent. Though he is a bit underdeveloped, Roth makes the most out of his villain.

My only major gripe is with Liv Tyler. I like Tyler just fine. She is fine. She just stops the plot here. At least when she did the very same thing in Fellowship of the Rings, she looked smoking. Here she looks like a freckly, timid mess. I don’t think it was so much her fault as the script’s regarding her Betty Ross.

William Hurt goes a totally different route from Sam Elliott’s General Ross. Elliott’s was a tough yet likable cowboy general, ready to serve up a special brand of whoop-ass to defend his America. Hurt plays Ross as an amorally obsessive jingoist , ready to sacrifice anything for power.

Go see The Incredible Hulk. You will not regret it. This film is made for the big-screen experience. I know most comic-book movies attempt to be a whiz-bang action fest Few have succeeded in this conceit like The Incredible Hulk. This flick really feels like Hulk is smashing his way right into your conscious.